I do NOT have an accent!

I'm from the Midwest. We don't have accents. People from the south have accents. People from the east have accents. And people from the west have accents. But in Minnesota, we are right in the middle, and except for a few people in the far north of Minnesota who still have a bit of a Scandinavian brogue (possibly relatives, but not me), the rest of us don't have accents.


When I first met Fritz, he was still fairly fresh from California, and he definitely had a west coast accent. I think I may have even said something to him the first time I heard him say the word "couch." It came out more like ca-ouch, like he was starting to say cat, but then cut off to say ouch. "Ca-ouch." Definitely an accent.


And if the accent wasn't enough, Fritz also had a west coast vocabulary. Soon after we started dating, I overheard him on the phone talking to one of his California buddies, and hardly recognized him. Not only was the accent in full gear, so was the slang! I think "dude," "Cali," and "surfin'" were the only words I recognized.


So how is it that just from saying "Large, unsweetened, black ice tea, please" the woman behind the counter at Starbucks asked "Where are you from?" She smiled at me, then said "You're from the Midwest. Wisconsin? Minnesota?" I responded with Minnesota, my eyes wide, inquiring how she knew that.


And then she said it: "You have an accent."


I was shocked. "No, I don't. We don't have accents in Minnesota!" The "o" may have been a little long in don't, and sometimes I think I might say "Minnesow-ta," but I didn't think it was that obvious, until the woman imitated me and said, with another smile, "You dowen't?" What could I do but concede.


...I should have asked her to say "couch."